Read the whole entry. No idea if you’re looking for responses/advice…First off, you’ve done a ton of work and for that, thank you.
I too hold self-control and self-awareness in high regard, and put great pride into tasks at hand. I like to think that I have always been this way, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been able to improve my lifestyle. If I understood everything correctly, it sounds like you are going through a burn-out. When that happened to me, I spent lots of time on self-reflection, and got into meditation. For me meditation is about developing a non-judgmental, moment-to-moment, awareness (not reaching some out of body experience or whatever some people say). This helped reduce my feelings of stress, burn-out, anxiety, etc. It might work for you…or it might not, everyone gets through tough times differently. Basically, my point here is taking time to discover what relaxes you (and keeps you relaxed) helps tremendously with recovering from burn-out/preventing future burn-out.
This may sound silly, but how much water do you drink everyday? One of the things I noticed while going through my burn-out was increasing my water intake drastically improved my overall mood (despite the fact that I was drinking the recommended amount of water for my body weight). I made some other dietary adjustments, let me know if you’re interested in hearing what worked.
In terms of talking to strangers: Guy or girl I try to have the other person do a majority of the talking, even if I start the conversation. It’s a lot easier to stay engaged, actively listen, and get involved/meaningfully contribute when you can.
Note: I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time, so my input here may not hold well…idk. When my girlfriend and I first started getting to know each other I was kind, considerate, and caring - but not “excessively” (I feel this often happens, without recognition of it occurring). By this I mean I wasn’t more kind/considerate/caring than what would be acceptable for how long we knew each other. For instance, if something happened where she was sad/complaining and I could help: my thought process was, “Would she help me if the sides were reversed?” If I was sure she wouldn’t, I would just say something along the lines of “Man that sucks, sorry that happened :/“ If I was unsure, “Sorry that happened :/ Let me know if I can help!” If I knew she would help, “Sorry that happened, *offer help* ” Not sure if that makes sense. Basically, as we got to know each other I gradually increased levels (I also figured out we were both interested in dating). Hope this helps. Don't like sounding like I'm trying to switch the focus of the post, if you need anything feel free to send a PM