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Read it all Fair Strides. I get the feeling that all the things that happened with your family, is catching up. You say you supress the feelings and emotions. This takes a ton of energy. I'm not blaming you, what I get from your story is you had to grow up FAST. Decide major things that have a serious impact on your life. It's far from odd you have these on and off periods. Feeling tired by it all. And not sure what to do about it. I think writing this out in a blog is a good step. You can let it out, doesn't matter if it's a bit cluttered or rambling on. At least you let it out and it can give you some insight on what's going on in your head. I admire it, it's brave to start digging in yourself. Though it does take time and you should take your time. Take time, but also take good care for yourself, keep eating and drinking at the right times, you can feel very tired and worn out, by not eating enough and not drinking, causes headaches... ect, hold on to some structure. Could write a whole lot more, but I got the feeling I would be talking to much about myself here; I've gone through difficult periods myself, about myself. Still fighting with it at times. But I don't want to take away your "thunder". Feel free to PM me anytime; I don't think I can help much, but you got my ear