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Worst Star Wars Conspiracy Theories


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#1 VarsityPuppet

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 05:33 PM

Every fandom has their fun fan theories about what's to come, but I feel like Star Wars, as of lately, has had some of the worst. Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Time-traveling Kylo Ren, Orson Krennic, The Sith Inquisitor are apparently all candidates for Snoke? Garbage

 

Maybe that's just due to over-exposure, but I swear all you have to do is watch 1 single youtube video that addresses a theory and soon your recommended videos are littered with just bullcrap theories.

 

So, I propose we come up with our own bullcrap theories. We'll make a game of it, try to come up with circumstantial evidence, and then peddle that rumor around the internet and see if we can get it to work. Try a few things and see what sticks

 

 

Not sure where to start, but as a fun example: Watto is Anakin's Father

 

 

 


Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. - Proverbs 4:23


#2 revan21

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 05:44 PM

One of my favorites among the bullcrap theories is that in Star Wars, all humans are really part of an insect like species and appear like humans so that audience wouldn't be alienated. Things that this theory uses as backup are the fact that the Deathstar is like a giant beehive, Stormtrooper all look like identical drones and that the age at which a person is considered mature is pretty low (around 19). It's a pretty old theory, most likely from before Empire Strikes Back. Another old one is that Boba Fett is the mother of Luke and Leia or that he killed Beru and Own Lars since they were turned into Luke's worst BBQ nightmare and Vader tells him to not disintegrate Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back. 

And then there is stuff like E.T. being a part of Star Wars and really a secret Sith Lord, Qui-Gon being a Sith mastermind because he allowed Anakin to join the Jedi Order, Poe Dameron being brainwashed to be a double agent during his capture in TFA and the all popular Darth Jar Jar theory.


I miss the old Revan,

The amnesia Revan, switching them sides Revan

I hate the new Revan, the Legends Revan

SWTOR Revan, beefin with everyone Revan

I miss the cool Revan, "Heart of the Force" Revan

See I invented Revan, It wasn't any Revans

And now I look and look around and see Darth Maul is Revan

I used to love Revan, I used to love Revan

I even had that Red Mask, I thought I was Revan

What if Revan turned out to be Revan

And he relises he was Revan ? Man, that'd be so Revan

That's all it was Revan, we still love Revan

And I love you like Revan loves Revan

 

 


#3 Eauxps I. Fourgott

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 07:10 PM

We should come up with "evidence" that would prove that Snoke is really HK-47.

 

(...but seriously? Obi-Wan Kenobi? What the heck?)


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#4 Revanator

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 07:15 PM

Rey is Revan reincarnated

 

Because their names both begin with RE

 

and their both prodigys

 

and they're both human

 

and they both ate food at one point



#5 VarsityPuppet

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 08:19 PM

We should come up with "evidence" that would prove that Snoke is really HK-47.

 

If we could that'd be awesome, but the key component is that we can't just make up evidence. The evidence has to be there, but it can be completely circumstantial.

 

Like, okay, here's one I have:

 

Theory

Sabé is Rey's Grandmother

 

Evidence

A little known fact, but Sabé is played by actress Keira Knightley. Star Wars is of course not one of her more famous roles, and at the time, she just seems like a throwaway character, especially since she doesn't return in Episode II. Her entire role is based on the fact that she looks kind of like Padmé (Natalie Portman)

 

It's interesting to note, however that she bears a striking resemblance to another Star Wars actress: Daisy Ridley 

 

A popular theory that many have regarding the prequel trilogies is that Obi-Wan and Padmé had a secret love affair behind Anakin's back. The evidence is there if you look and it's quite compelling. But what if Obi-Wan actually had an affair with not Padmé, but Sabé?

 

Think about it!

If Obi-Wan Kenobi had a child with Sabé through some sort of weird rebound after Padmé's death, that child would potentially be around Luke's age by the the time of A New Hope. We don't know what Luke was up to between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, but it's entirely possible that he had a child with Obi-Wan's daughter, who would give birth to Rey, thus making her Sabé's grand-daughter.

 

MIND. BLOWN.

 

 

See, that's suitably ridiculous and riddled with circumstantial evidence and pure speculation, but also technically plausible


Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. - Proverbs 4:23


#6 Haveayap

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 09:40 PM

One of my favorites among the bullcrap theories is that in Star Wars, all humans are really part of an insect like species and appear like humans so that audience wouldn't be alienated. Things that this theory uses as backup are the fact that the Deathstar is like a giant beehive, Stormtrooper all look like identical drones and that the age at which a person is considered mature is pretty low (around 19). It's a pretty old theory, most likely from before Empire Strikes Back. Another old one is that Boba Fett is the mother of Luke and Leia or that he killed Beru and Own Lars since they were turned into Luke's worst BBQ nightmare and Vader tells him to not disintegrate Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back.
And then there is stuff like E.T. being a part of Star Wars and really a secret Sith Lord, Qui-Gon being a Sith mastermind because he allowed Anakin to join the Jedi Order, Poe Dameron being brainwashed to be a double agent during his capture in TFA and the all popular Darth Jar Jar theory.

Well E.T is from the star wars series... His species were in the senate
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#7 VarsityPuppet

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 10:05 PM

Well E.T is from the star wars series... His species were in the senate

 

Right, but to then infer that E.T. is force-sensitive is... cringeworthy to say the least


Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. - Proverbs 4:23


#8 Revanator

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Posted 25 January 2017 - 10:10 PM

I like the idea of Earth being in the SWU enough to go along with it.



#9 revan21

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 03:27 PM

I like the idea of Earth being in the SWU enough to go along with it.

There is a short comic called "Into the Unknown" that is about Ha and Chewie making a blind hyperspace jump and crash landing on earth. More precisly, North America. Han is then killed by native americans and Chewie flees into the woods. Indiana Jones then discovers Han's remains 126 years later while searching for the Sasquatch, who turns out to be Chewbacca. It's obviusly neither part of Canon or Legends. 

 

We all know that the adventures of Indiana Jones are just Han's coma dream during the time he was frozen in carbonite.......


I miss the old Revan,

The amnesia Revan, switching them sides Revan

I hate the new Revan, the Legends Revan

SWTOR Revan, beefin with everyone Revan

I miss the cool Revan, "Heart of the Force" Revan

See I invented Revan, It wasn't any Revans

And now I look and look around and see Darth Maul is Revan

I used to love Revan, I used to love Revan

I even had that Red Mask, I thought I was Revan

What if Revan turned out to be Revan

And he relises he was Revan ? Man, that'd be so Revan

That's all it was Revan, we still love Revan

And I love you like Revan loves Revan

 

 


#10 LucyTheAlien

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 07:01 PM

I like the idea of Earth being in the SWU enough to go along with it.

 

That idea is 100000000000% worse than the midichlorians or Jar Jar could ever be. 


One will make the choice- all will make the journey.

#11 superSzym

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 08:14 PM

Those all teories suck. The only truth in the galaxy is that Kreia is a Yuuzhan Vong.

Evidence:
  • Kreia hates technology, just as Yuuzhan Vong do.
  • Kreia is extremely ugly, just as Yuuzhan Vong are.
  • Kreia could be possibly absent in the Force, so no one could feel her unless she decided to reveal herself, as the Exile thought that Kreia is dead, even though she whispered to the Exile through the Force during her bath in the kolor tank. Darth Sion was quite surprised when he found her on the Harbringer and for the second time on Malachor, and three Jedi Masters found out that Kreia is alive and in another room when she decided to go out of this another room and reveal herself.
  • Kreia could possibly worldshaped Malachor V and that's the reason of its unusual enviroment. We have no evidence that it was Mass Shadow Generator that destroyed the surface of the planet. In fact, it destroyed Malachor V when used for a second time, so possibly Bao-Dur was actually an awful mechanic and what he created only destroyed the fleet, and as a result of Vongforming it started working as intended, thus destroying the planet.
She could also be Snoke, with evidence that they both undeniably exist.

#12 134340Goat

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 08:49 PM

In no particular order of worst theories I've read....

 

-Shmi's death was an accident and the sandpeople meant to heal her, with Anakin interfering resulting in her death

 

-Qui-Gon is secretly a Sith sympathizer and/or Snoke

 

-Anyone is Snoke

 

-Because of his connection to Yoda, Chewbacca had been a member of the Rebellion before meeting Han

 

-Darth Darth Binks

 

The only controversial theory I MIGHT buy is Mace believing that he himself is the Chosen One



#13 Ebony Moon

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 12:42 AM

Palpatine/Darth Sidious was Anakin's father. Schmi was a lab specimen who got away and had no memory of being impregnated by manipulated midichlorians designed to produce clones of Palpatine. Instead she gave birth to Ani.



#14 N-DReW25

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 01:27 AM

Palpatine/Darth Sidious was Anakin's father. Schmi was a lab specimen who got away and had no memory of being impregnated by manipulated midichlorians designed to produce clones of Palpatine. Instead she gave birth to Ani.

That made me sick!

 

Well E.T is from the star wars series... His species were in the senate

That's not a theory that's fact, There were 3 of them in the galactic senate in the movies!

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#15 134340Goat

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 02:29 AM

The Palpatine using alchemy to make Anakin thing was mentioned in Luceno's Darth Plagueis novel. No longer canon but still somewhat implied in ROTS



#16 LucyTheAlien

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 08:44 AM

The Palpatine using alchemy to make Anakin thing was mentioned in Luceno's Darth Plagueis novel. No longer canon but still somewhat implied in ROTS

 

I thought it was something along the lines of, they attempted to rape the force in essence with dark side Sith alchemy. 

So the force responded to this heinous act by creating Anakin. 

 

"In addition, although Darth Plagueis did attempt to influence the midichlorians to create the ultimate Sith weapon alongside Darth Sidious, the experiment was ultimately a failure, and the midichlorians, sensing the Sith's inherent malevolent intention, not only refused to do so, but in retaliation, conceived Anakin Skywalker in order to destroy the Sith once and for all."


One will make the choice- all will make the journey.

#17 superSzym

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 09:30 AM

I thought it was something along the lines of, they attempted to rape the force in essence with dark side Sith alchemy. 
So the force responded to this heinous act by creating Anakin. 
 
"In addition, although Darth Plagueis did attempt to influence the midichlorians to create the ultimate Sith weapon alongside Darth Sidious, the experiment was ultimately a failure, and the midichlorians, sensing the Sith's inherent malevolent intention, not only refused to do so, but in retaliation, conceived Anakin Skywalker in order to destroy the Sith once and for all."

No! No! We go either the scientific midichlorians way or the sentient Force way! Never ever mix it up! Who was creative enough to do so, deserves to die on cross!

#18 LucyTheAlien

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 09:43 AM

Nah gotta disagree; the midichlorians are a symptom of the force not a source.
Their existence indicates potential but if a force user is dedicated enough they can surpass what their midichlorians indicate.

Star Wars Rebels essentially says as much

& Again I disagree; the only way I accept the whole Anakin Skywalker "Midichlorian Count" implication is through the context of James Luceno's "Darth Plagueis" which as quoted it can be found that midichlorians can be influenced to save lives (Other than one's own) by drawing upon a pool of dark side energy and make yourself untouchable to the decay of time and age, however you can still be killed.
& The most important part; you can't change the force itself; at least with that method of scientific intervention.

As the Exile had the potential to kill the force, but that was through a spiritual connection not science.
One will make the choice- all will make the journey.

#19 xander2077

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 01:25 PM

I like the idea that Shmi was trapped in a lab by Palpatine where he experimented on her as Pelagueius taught him how to irritate the midichlorians, it actually kind of fits, and if it was his underlying motivation to create clones of himself with that method, it would fit right in with the other novels and Dark Empire (still one of my favorite comics in the SW universe), her subsequent escape and enslavement were all part of the will of the force, they put Anakin in the correct frame of mind to be let down hard and be a perfect emo sith attack dog. His anger, pain, frustration led to him joining Palpatine, and then having resentment towards Palpatine for stripping everything from him...

 

So with that i have a circumstantial theory about Kylo Ren... and Snoke

 

Han and Leah were never really going to live happily ever after, its a nice idea for romantic fans but that didnt happen. Instead Han knocked up Leah and it ruined her political career since it was at the wrong time, so, she decided with him being gone all the time, still gambling, still pirating, still smuggling, still bar hopping, it was time to break up with Han. Han doesnt like that much, but later finds out he has a son, and the little boy wants to see his dad. Kylo decides to run away and chase his dad down and his force sensitivity allows him to brave Nar Shadda and find his dad in a seedy bar. Han is surprised his son is there and reluctantly lets him tag along.

 

After a series of adventures the two grow close like father and son should, but it is not to be forever. An unfortunate event happens. A group of bounty hunters are now after the aging Han, and he and his boy get separated, he loses the falcon during a drunken gambling escapade, and Kylo is presumed missing, although he himself has been captured and sold into slavery by a Hutt crime lord who is out for revenge on Solo for killing Jabba.

 

Kylo is bought by a very religious aristocrat, who annoys the crap out of Kylo so he runs away, and eventually joins the Knights of Ren to become its Chief warrior.

 

All this time Leah and Han have been trying to get over the supposed loss of Kylo only to find out their son is their worst enemy.

 

And this is the circumstantial evidence for saying that Snoke is actually Jabba's Cousin... Somehow Kylo has developed stockholm syndrome and would rather be hanging out with someone that wants his dad killed, and the remnant of the empire are stupid enough to follow a shadowy Hutt who claims to be a Sith and has a scary hologram of a giant Munilist. That and Snoke is a name befitting a Hutt.

 

Snoke turns out to be one of the few Huttese that has actually learned to speak basic, and is quite learned and intelligent, which would make him an ideal candidate for a Sith lord, but he went another direction instead, which was to use his money and power to con the remnant of the empire into rebuilding and rebranding itself as a power house with the sole purpose of getting revenge on Han. They all believe they are the empire reborn, and everyone else gets caught in the middle of this strange revenge plot.



#20 VarsityPuppet

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 03:46 PM

I like the idea that Shmi was trapped in a lab by Palpatine where he experimented on her as Pelagueius taught him how to irritate the midichlorians, it actually kind of fits, and if it was his underlying motivation to create clones of himself with that method, it would fit right in with the other novels and Dark Empire (still one of my favorite comics in the SW universe), her subsequent escape and enslavement were all part of the will of the force, they put Anakin in the correct frame of mind to be let down hard and be a perfect emo sith attack dog. His anger, pain, frustration led to him joining Palpatine, and then having resentment towards Palpatine for stripping everything from him...

 

So with that i have a circumstantial theory about Kylo Ren... and Snoke

 

Han and Leah were never really going to live happily ever after, its a nice idea for romantic fans but that didnt happen. Instead Han knocked up Leah and it ruined her political career since it was at the wrong time, so, she decided with him being gone all the time, still gambling, still pirating, still smuggling, still bar hopping, it was time to break up with Han. Han doesnt like that much, but later finds out he has a son, and the little boy wants to see his dad. Kylo decides to run away and chase his dad down and his force sensitivity allows him to brave Nar Shadda and find his dad in a seedy bar. Han is surprised his son is there and reluctantly lets him tag along.

 

After a series of adventures the two grow close like father and son should, but it is not to be forever. An unfortunate event happens. A group of bounty hunters are now after the aging Han, and he and his boy get separated, he loses the falcon during a drunken gambling escapade, and Kylo is presumed missing, although he himself has been captured and sold into slavery by a Hutt crime lord who is out for revenge on Solo for killing Jabba.

 

Kylo is bought by a very religious aristocrat, who annoys the crap out of Kylo so he runs away, and eventually joins the Knights of Ren to become its Chief warrior.

 

All this time Leah and Han have been trying to get over the supposed loss of Kylo only to find out their son is their worst enemy.

 

And this is the circumstantial evidence for saying that Snoke is actually Jabba's Cousin... Somehow Kylo has developed stockholm syndrome and would rather be hanging out with someone that wants his dad killed, and the remnant of the empire are stupid enough to follow a shadowy Hutt who claims to be a Sith and has a scary hologram of a giant Munilist. That and Snoke is a name befitting a Hutt.

 

Snoke turns out to be one of the few Huttese that has actually learned to speak basic, and is quite learned and intelligent, which would make him an ideal candidate for a Sith lord, but he went another direction instead, which was to use his money and power to con the remnant of the empire into rebuilding and rebranding itself as a power house with the sole purpose of getting revenge on Han. They all believe they are the empire reborn, and everyone else gets caught in the middle of this strange revenge plot.

 

Ugh that is utter garbage.

 

Good job! :)


Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. - Proverbs 4:23





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